


It was always you

by Penelex



Category: Dare Me - Megan Abbott
Genre: Complicated Relationships, Cuddling & Snuggling, Eventual Smut, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Underage Drinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-30
Updated: 2020-03-30
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:15:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23402098
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Penelex/pseuds/Penelex
Summary: Addy realizes that she did Beth wrong. So they talk.And talks always seem to solve problems.-Basically my attempt to recreate my imagination of how Beth and Addy finally make up and realize what they truly feel for each other.
Relationships: Beth Cassidy/Addy Hanlon
Comments: 2
Kudos: 61





	It was always you

**Author's Note:**

> So this ist my first ever fanfic so please be aware that I may have rushed some dialogue and it's probably not the best writing style you've ever read. :'D 
> 
> Also, you will probably realize very quickly that english is not my native language, so please forgive any any mistakes. (I hole there are not too many of them in there)  
> Anyways, i really hope you can still enjoy and i would be happy about some Feedback! 
> 
> I think that is everything have fun reading guys! :)

Chapter 1:

It had been 12 hours since Addy had been at Coaches house, waiting in front of that window. Waiting for Coach to tell her that Beth was wrong. Waiting for her to, once again, somehow calm Addy down with whatever words. Waiting for something to happen. Anything.   
But nothing had happend.   
Coach had betrayed her. 

It had been 10 hours since Addy had gone to bed, trying to somehow bring herself to sleep. She hadn't been successful.   
The thoughts had kept coming and coming.   
Coach, Will...   
Beth....  
How did she not see that Coach would betray her. How did she not realize that she was just using her to get what she wanted. And Addy fell right for it, thinking that she was something special to the other woman.   
She doesn't even know what exactly she felt for said woman. She looked up to her, even wanted to be exactly like her. Perfect Colette French.   
But there was something more primal to it, something Addy tries her best to deny. But she knows that it's useless.   
And while she was dealing with not admitting her attraction to Coach, Beth had seen right through her.

It had been 6 hours since Addy had realized that she was wrong earlier.  
Wrong for assuming that she couldn't trust anyone.   
Beth was right. With everything.  
Beth.   
She was no saint, sure, but she didn't betray Addy, she never had.   
Addy was the one who betrayed her. She didn't want to listen, she was so captured by Coach that she shut Beth out completly.   
How could she not see that.  
Beth had been her best friend all along, had always been her best friend, as long as she could remember.   
It was always Beth.   
Still is.  
Addy had taken out her Phone, opened their chat and looked at the profile-picture that used to show her and Beth, the latter embracing Addy from behind and two of them smiling wildly at each other.   
Now it shows a Selfie of Beth herself, without her girl beside her.   
Addys stomach had dropped.   
Beth had been running after her for too long and she had probably given up on Addy after their talk on the field.  
She had thought about texting her but can't think of anything that would express her feelings appropriatly.  
She had spend another hour looking at old pictures and videos of her and Beth.  
And finally, Addy had started crying.   
Quietly, so she woudn't wake up her mom.   
Panic overfloating her, body shaking like the room was freezing cold, silently sobbing into her pillow.  
She was all alone in this horrible situation.

It had been 4 hours since Addy had finally fallen asleep. Lying sideways on her bed, phone still in her hand with a picture of her and Beth lighting up the screen, floating in a dreamless but light sleep. 

It had been 2 hours since Addy had woken up. Had prepared herself Breakfast but ended up drinking just a glass of orange juice because she felt too sick to touch anything edible.

It had been 10 minutes since Addy had decided to go for a run.   
Somehow she had ended up at the Cassidy house.   
It's still dark outside, with the sun just about to rise so she knows that Beth will probably get up any second.  
There she stands, just staring at the black window of Beths room.  
When the light finally shines through the glass pane, she sees Beth getting out of bed and into the bathroom.  
She thinks about waiting until Beth would get out of the house, but she decides against it.  
Just as she runs around the street corner she hears the door of the Cassidy house shut, so she fastens her steps and quickly runs around the next corner and out of sight.   
She's not ready to face Beth just jet.   
Not like this.

The weekend goes by painfully slowly without Beth texting Addy or the other way around.   
On monday, when Addy arrives at school she sees Beths Pick Up from afar, driving into a parking lot just as the silver car that belongs to Colette French arrives.   
Addys blood runs cold and she quickly enters the building. The last thing she wants right now is to face both of them at the same time.

It's after geometry when Addy knows that there is no way to avoid Beth anymore. She will be by her locker and Addy will run into her if she wants to get to her next class. And even if she somehow managed to get there without seeing Beth, she would see her at practice anyhow.   
There was no way around it Addy wants to get it over with.   
She wants Beth back, she needs her back. Addy knows she can't make it without her.  
So when it finally happens, Addy is prepared. She thought about what exactly she would say to Beth.

The smaller girl is leaning against her locker lazily while talking to Riri.   
When their eyes meet, Addys heart begans to race like crazy.   
Beth holds her gaze for a few seconds. Then, she looks down, places her arm on Riris and they walk away.   
Just like that.   
She had seen the look on Beths face, only noticeable for Addy.   
She looked dissapointed and sad and Addy knows that with her statement on the field, Beth had finally stopped trying to fight for Addy. 

But Addy is not ready to give up, so she waits for her in front of the locker room, bouncing from one feet to the other nervously.   
When Riri rounds the corner with her arm around Beths shoulders, Addy feels the well known sting of jealousy in her chest she always has when someone else touches Beth like that.  
Their eyes lock again and when Beth sees the pleading look in Addys eyes, her expression softens instantly.   
"Riri give us a minute, will you."   
It's not a question but Riri obeys and enters the other room with an uncomfortable smile, realizing the tension between the two.

As soon as the door closes behind her, Addy takes a cautious step towards the other girl.   
"Can we talk?"  
Beth doesn't break their eye contact and simply shrugs.   
Addy gets another step closer. Beth watches her, not backing away and slightly tilts her head expectantly.  
The way she looks at her, all of Addys carfully chosen words suddenly don't make sense anymore, so she just says what comes to her mind.  
"What I said the other night, after the game, I didn't mean it."  
"Yes, you did."  
Silence.  
"I know you meant it then, Addy. Question is...do you still mean it? Cause if you do, I don't see why we're still talking. I sure don't wanna TAKE anymore from you."   
"Beth.... I'm sorry..." Addys voice cracks a little but she clears her throat and continues.   
"I was wrong, okay? But you were so possessive and jealous I just needed a break. But you were right, I didn't see what you saw. I really believed that she only wanted my best."  
"So you just came to talk to me again only after she finally let you down?"   
Addy sees the dissapointment in her face.  
"No. Okay maybe yes, but I'm here to apologize, okay?"   
Beth just looks at her.  
"So what did she do to finally show her true self?"  
"It doesn't matter. She just did."  
"So you're still not capable to tell me the truth, right Addy?"  
Beth shakes her head in disbelieve and Addy swallows dryly when the door suddenly swings open to reveal Coach.   
For a moment, they all stare at each other.   
"Why the hell aren't you ready? Get changed or you're blocked for practice for the rest of the week."   
Beth glares at her and rushes past Coach while Addy stares after her.   
"Addy..." Coach begins but Addy follows Beth without looking at her. 

During the whole practice, Addy keeps looking at Beth and Beth looks back at her, blue eyes unreadable. 

Right after, Beth rushes out and when Addy wants to go after her, Coach catches her arm.   
"Addy!"  
"Let go of me" Addy looks at her angrily and rips her arm out of Coaches grip  
"Don't touch me. Beth was right all along. You don't care about me. You brought me into a fucking murder case. Because of you, there might be evidence that would suggest that I was part of that murder. And if that's not enough, you iced me out, left me standing there outside your house. You can't even tell me why your hair was wet, what you actually did there, can you?"  
At this point, Addy was shouting and tears were running down her face.   
Coach just looks at her.   
"Come in Addy, really? You're making me the bad guy? Blaming everything on me? You always wanted to be around me. YOU always came to ME? And now you're blaming me for calling you that night? I already told you I didn't see another option.   
Come on Addy, let's not fight, we have much bigger problems that we can only can solve together. After all, I always looked out for you, helped you get what you want, didn't I?"  
"No. NO! Stop trying to manipulate me. I'm done with this."

And with that, Addy storms out of the gym.

Beth is waiting outside, leaning against her Car. Riri is in the backseat. 

"Come on Hanlon. I'm talking you home."

They drive in silence with Riri occasionally commenting something about some instagram post.  
When they arrive at Addys house, she asks her if she wants to come in, but Beth reminds her that she still needs to drive home Riri. 

Later, Addy takes her Phone and calls her.   
"Hey. You wanna come over? My mom can make us Dinner and then we can really talk."  
She hears Beth take a deep breath in the other side.   
"Okay. I'll be there in 10."

They have finished Dinner and now they are lying on Addys bed, facing each other.   
Their hands are just inches away from touching and Addy almost feels like nothing's wrong, like their friendship isn't almost broken and entirely depends on this conversation to stop it from completly falling apart.  
"So you're finally ready to spill the truth?" Beth says while looking at her expectantly.  
"I am. As long as you do, too."

And then they talk. They do spill the truth. Addy tells Beth everything about Coach and Will, how she had called her and how she ended up at the crime and Beth tells Addy all about her investigations. 

When they finally stop talking, there is something in the air. It's relieve, because they know it's a step in the right direction but there is also something else, something unspoken.

"You know it's bad Addy, right? She can throw you under the Bus if she wants to. As hard as it is to say that, but we just have to hope that she won't be associated with the murder or else you could be screwed as well."  
"Yeah, I know..."  
"You know I always have you're back. I wont let anything happen to you. As I said, in the worst case scenario, we are each others alibies."  
"Can we talk about something else? I don't want to think about it anymore."  
"Yeah, sure..."

They remain silent for a while, staring into each others eyes, fingers brushing together lightly .   
Suddenly, Addy shifts a little closer and slowly puts her hand on Beths. Beth smiles at her softly and Addys heart does a weird backflip.   
When the taller girl feels tiredness washing over her body, she pushes her head deeper into the pillow and closes her eyes, enjoying the feeling of Beths soft fingers brushing over hers. She's just about to fall asleep when Beth whispers:  
"You were right, Addy"   
"What?" She asks sleepy.  
"About me being possessive and jealous." Beth says quietly.  
Addy finally opens her eyes and finds Beth staring at her intensely.   
And there it was again. The feeling in the air. The unspoken thing that was still between them. The thing that didn't first appear with Coaches arrival, but goes back to that one rainy night at the carousel.  
"I'm really sorry about that, Addy. I'm just so scared of losing you. Of you moving on without me. Finding someone else to replace me while I'm still here knowing that no one can replace YOU Addy. Not for me.  
And when SHE came it was like it all came true and you were slipping away from me just like that.  
I'm so sorry. I know I'm not easy."  
Addy doesn't know what to say. Not only has it been a long time since Beth had spilled out her feelings like this, showing how vulnerable she really could be. There was also a little tear running down her cheek.   
Addy can just stare at the little drop moving down the soft skin while Beths blue eyes never leave Addys brown ones.

She feels like everything she would say right now could not express what she was feeling in that moment, so instead she fully intertwines their fingers and with her free hand, she tenderly wipes away the tear. 

That feeling in the room becomes unbearable so she moves her body until it's pressed against Beths.   
She slowly leans in to press her forehead against Beths. Their noses brush ever so slightly and Addy can feel Beths heartbeat thumping rapidly, matching the speed of her own.

They stay like this because noone has the courage to do what they both want to do. What that unspoken feeling tells them to do ever since it last happend that night.   
But they don't.  
And Addy falls asleep, dreaming of rainy nights, braclets, wet hair and Beths soft and warm lips pressed against her own.


End file.
